Last Days...

By next weekend our family will be four.  

A brand new baby will be passed between our arms, held and cherished and butterfly kissed by the gentle light of the autumn sun.  

A little person full of promise and wonder - an old soul to teach us - a sibling to play with - a child to adore.  

Hurry up my angel baby, we are eager to stare in rapture at your sublime, perfect features and feel your tiny beating heart against our own.  

We love you already x

Photography: Angela Steyn

The Countdown

In amongst the complete chaos of my world (think mountains of paperwork and fabric samples piled up beneath a graveyard of broken toys and stale biscuits) it has suddenly dawned on me that I have just two weeks until we welcome our no. 2 bambino into the world - if indeed our no. 2 is as punctual as our no. 1 who arrived right on schedule (he is a Virgo after all!).

I have just taken on a stack of new clients in the past week - how I imagine juggling them all along with a newborn and a boisterous toddler is totally beyond me but I suspect it has something to do with being in complete denial about just how much our lives are going to be altered by the joy, wonder and ear-splitting cries of a teeny weeny baby.  

The first time around I wasn't self-employed.  I finished work 7 weeks before the baby came... 7 WEEKS!!!  My God, how insanely decadent.  I pottered around making pretty little things to go in the baby's room.  I took yoga classes 3 times a week.  I cleaned our apartment from top to bottom with a toothbrush.  I had massages and went for long, ambling walks in the sunshine.

This time, the baby has to stick a foot into the side of my tummy with as much force as possible for me to even stop for two seconds to remember that I'm pregnant.  There have been no massages, no yoga classes and certainly no afternoons lying on the sofa reading magazines.  I have managed to wash the baby clothes but they sit in the laundry basket where they will no doubt remain until we bring our little bundle home from the hospital.  Life could not be more different.

But here is the question... would I change anything?  Not a chance.  I love the life that Andre and I have fought so hard to build.  I love the fact that we live immersed in creativity (which just so happens to also be our work).  Yes, I could use a few more hours sleep a night.  Yes, I wish I could slow down the clocks.  Yes, I wish I could carve out a few more peaceful moments to sit in quiet meditation with my baby.  But our world is such a beautiful blend of happiness that I feel my soul renewed daily by the craziness.

So watch this space folks.  Tick, tick, tick... the scenic route of life is about to get a bit rough under foot for a while!

Image

The Long, Fleeting Days

With the passing days of being a Mama I wonder if I will remember all the things about my child that delight my soul and fill my heart to bursting.  The early morning sleepy smiles, the chubby hand absent-mindedly stroking my cheek, the shrieks of joy as he gallops past on the back of my husband, blonde curls bouncing, head bobbing.  The way he struggles valiantly to string words together correctly to form a sentence, his face earnest and furrowed in concentration.  His untainted perception of the world. His love of apple chippies, marshmallows and "teeny" bits of chocolate that he insists on sharing with his Dada.  The make-believe bath time chatter, his love of odd bod toys and bits of scrap paper.  His pride in doing his daily chores like feeding the cat and passing me the bed pillows. Most of all, I wonder if I will recall the exact sound of his laughter that fills our home with the kind of joy that can sustain a soul for eternity.

I am determined to document as much as possible as the years speed by, determined not to let the accumulation of long days bleach my memories of their beauty so they lie like a pile of faded photographs on my psyche.  These precious days are fleeting - one day, too soon from now, he will no longer want to crawl on my lap and press his sticky face against mine for comfort.  Too soon he will have grown up.  Too soon I will have grown old.

Photography: Angela Steyn

Sunshine of my Life

My child.  You are the embodiment of sunshine.  You are love personified.  You are a mirror for my soul.  

May the Gods always be present in your heart and lay petals on your path.

x

Sleeping Monkey

My little boy, you are a constant ball of energy, a firecracker exploding into glorious colour every waking minute of each day.  You zip this way and that, darting around my legs with a ferocious lust for discovery and a keen eye on the jellybean jar.  Your grubby, chubby little hands take life by the throat, exhausting every drip of goodness that can be found.  Then, like a daisy at dusk, you close up and collapse into a comatose state of angelic peace.  Oh to be two years old and on the cusp of self-discovery.  Enjoy the journey gorgeous child and I shall continue to sit by your bedside and watch your precious eyelids flutter like butterfly wings against the morning sky.

The Little Things Break My Heart

Once upon a time I was told by a doctor wearing a Rolex and a skiing tan that I might never be a Mama... now when I catch sight of my little boy's shoes left lying around the house, or his collection of trucks lined up at the back door, my heart breaks a little wider from the love it is so desperately trying to contain.  These mundane things are pieces of evidence of a life I never dared dream possible.  I would like to thank the angels for putting small, grubby shoes on my chair x

Hey Mickey You're So Pretty!

Vintage Mickey Mouse

Vintage Mickey has sat on my desk, bravely waving at me for nearly ten years.  I found him in an obscure little shop in Avalon, hidden amongst an old tool box full of odd bits and pieces.  He has been my mascot of happiness, my cheery go-to-guy when I'm feeling blue.  Mickey Mouse you have helped me find my smile when I thought it was lost - thank you x

Image: Angela Steyn